Animations

Leading By Example: How Parents can Model Emotional Regulation for Kids

  • Published25 Sep 2025
  • Source BrainFacts/SfN

Everyday life can be stressful. And those stressors sometimes build up over time, causing us to act out of character.

Learning how to regulate your own emotions — using skills like deep breathing and pausing to reflect before taking action — can stop reactionary decision making and improve communication with others. And doing so doesn’t just help you. For parents, being intentional about how they telegraph their feelings can influence children’s thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.

Storyboard and animation produced by Midnight Snacks for BrainFacts.

Scripting by Tristan Rivera.

Editorial Production by Tristan Rivera and Bella Isaacs-Thomas.

Scientific Review by Susan Perlman.

CONTENT PROVIDED BY

BrainFacts/SfN

[Tense music plays, cars honk]

You walk in the door after a bad day, hoping for peace and quiet,

only [child wails] to be met with, your toddler’s latest tantrum.

As your stress mounts, a cascade of hormones floods your nervous system.

Adrenal glands activate, releasing adrenaline and norepinephrine.

increasing your heart rate, breathing rate, and blood pressure.

Your hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal glands coordinate to release the hormone cortisol,

putting you on high alert.

But before you lose your temper, [music stops] you pause —

[breathes, calm music plays] slowing the hormonal rush as you take a few deep breaths.

Your blood pressure and heart rate come down.

That moment to think activated your frontal cortex — and your executive functioning —

to suppress impulsive actions, recall past events, and adjust your behavior.

[Child wails] For your child, witnessing such a measured approach may shift their biological responses —

[wailing stops] helping them dial down [child laughs] their own tantrum in real time

and learn how to express themselves differently in the future.

Your emotions serve as a model for your little one.

What example do you want to set for yourself and others?

[Light splash, swoosh, light splashes]

[Music stops]

Administration for Children and Families (ACF). (Feb 17, 2023). Co-regulation: What It Is and Why it Matters [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRMBHQ-Bmk0

Administration for Children and Families (ACF). (Feb 7, 2020). Co-Regulation from Birth through Young Adulthood [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6kvf_BzKwY

Bornstein, M. H., & Esposito, G. (2023). Coregulation: A Multilevel Approach via Biology and Behavior. Children (Basel, Switzerland), 10(8), 1323. https://doi.org/10.3390/children10081323

Caldwell, A. (2018). The Neuroscience of Stress. BrainFacts. https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/emotions-stress-and-anxiety/2018/the-neuroscience-of-stress-061918

Catanese, L. (2024). Self-regulation for adults: Strategies for getting a handle on emotions and behavior. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/self-regulation-for-adults-strategies-for-getting-a-handle-on-emotions-and-behavior

Diaphramic Breathing. (n.d.) Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. Department of Anesthesia. Retrieved June 13, 2025, from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/all-childrens-hospital/services/anesthesiology/pain-management/complimentary-pain-therapies/diaphragmatic-breathing

Fessenden, M. (2023). Executive Function and Efficient Information Processing. BrainFacts. https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/thinking-and-awareness/2023/executive-function

Hagan, M. (2025). What Is Co-Regulation? Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/what-is-co-regulation/

Kelly, D. A. (2022). How Stress Impacts the Brain and Body. BrainFacts. https://www.brainfacts.org/brain-anatomy-and-function/body-systems/2022/stress-the-brain-and-body-102822

Perlman, S. B., Lunkenheimer, E., Panlilio, C., & Pérez-Edgar, K. (2022). Parent-to-Child Anxiety Transmission Through Dyadic Social Dynamics: A Dynamic Developmental Model. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 25(1), 110–129. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-022-00391-7

Salamon, M. (2024). Co-regulation: Helping children and teens navigate big emotions. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/co-regulation-helping-children-and-teens-navigate-big-emotions-202404033030

Thau, L., Gandhi, J., Sharma, S. (2023). Physiology, Cortisol. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK538239/

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